TalkativeBuzz

  Sometimes I want to take time to stop and think and also watch the beautiful sky, smell the rain and feel the wind. Sometimes I feel that I need to be alone, not lonely but to enjoy my time, notice the buzzing bees, the small children, and the smiling faces. Sometimes I want to punish myself to see the dawn before the rest of the world. Sometimes I wonder What is permanent in this life? My scars, my faults, my insecurities... Are they permanent? Those lazy Sundays with a late morning sip of tea and some daydreaming... Are they permanent? Sometimes I want to be an Ocean in a droplet which can be calm and still or rough and rigid but at the end of the day, it is always beautiful. Sometimes I want to be a mystery and an open book at the same time and talk to myself as I would to someone I love. Sometimes I want to go back to the water of my home and be surrounded by the hills and conifers. Sometimes I wish anyone could look over my broken fences and admire the flowers of my garden. ...

I am 19 years old, and I’m depressed. And that is okay. I feel sad for no reason at all. It's not that my life is full of struggles and pain, even though I have a normal life with sweet and bitter phases. My sadness of mood is nothing, it's just that I’m dealing with my depressive symptoms, like some other diabetic or heart patient dealing with their symptoms. There are days when I don’t want to come out of my bed because I don’t see a reason to, or maybe because I was up all night. At times I find myself in my head, sitting on a bench near a ghastly river saying “I should have done it, but I didn’t because I was too tired”. And then the things that I could have done but didn’t, make me feel guilty. Still, I find no motivation to do it and I remain to be tired all the time. Tears use to roll down my cheeks for no reason, I felt I was being unreasonable and irrational, I disappointed people, I broke things and the list goes on. And that’s just my depression. I’m not the reason f...

I like to listen to the calm quiet sea With the man, no like other. Who loved me unconditionally but never had enough words to describe . I like to listen to the falling rain drops, on a rainy Wednesday. With the man no like other who has been there  for me no matter what bad choices, I might have made . I like to listen to the majesty of a trees With the man, no like other. Who shouts at me, when i break the rules but holds me when i cry and shines with pride when i succeed. I like to listen to my voice reading aloud the last letter With no where the man, no like other who was the sun shining through my life . I like to listen to the last call in my mind , repeating  the words never in my mind. The man no like other♥️

Have you ever thought about how often it is, that we are asked to change our appearance? "We are your well-wisher, lose some weight we are saying this for your benefit". How classic this dialogue is, isn't it? But this small group of people doesn't know that it is not acceptable to put anyone down about their bodies. They say and we silently listen, there are times when we feel angry, hurt, and even numb. Even I had to hear a lot and to be honest it bothered me too these comments lead to the downfall of my self-esteem and it increased my insecurities. When they criticized my looks or bullied me. I preferred to remain silent and dragged myself into the shell. Why did it happen? Why did I prefer to remain silent? Even after knowing that my silence will promote them. Is it because of the low confidence that I had in myself? Or is it because I wasn't confident in my body? People with a typical fat body type experience more criticism because as per society a slim body ...

We all want to feel happy, and each of us has different ways of getting there. Similarly, I have my way of finding happiness. I listen to my heart and do things I love. And to be honest I wanted to serve people from the very beginning. As I found happiness or I can say a sort of satisfaction in doing so. Since I was in class 10, I always found intramural peace in helping people may it be academically or by donating something. I always felt it is not easy to find happiness in ourselves as whatever we do for ourselves we always get a feeling of dissatisfaction or we always want something more and this thing never gave me peace and on the other hand serving people would instantly provide me happiness and growth. After my class 10, I decided to take up Science, not because somehow I scored good but because I wanted to become a doctor! I always felt the life of a doctor is noble. A doctor is a saver of life and they can always help people with their valuable service. As I told you earlier ...

Stay open to feedback..! Today I had no idea that I was about to write this. I have always been a night owl and especially in my lockdown diaries, I am rarely asleep. Last night, I was scrolling down the Instagram feeds and was fed up with giving heart to some stupid memes. Then my eyes were caught by a beautiful song, which was posted by a girl, my ex-schoolmate. I found her song very beautiful and interesting. So I pinged her asking if she could tell me more about her song or the reason behind her song. After some time my cell phone beeped and it displayed a message; Yeah sure, man! I would love to... Art helps an artist to remove that mask in other words art helps them to find themselves as a person and remain true to their feelings. Since my childhood, I have always wanted to be that happy child who everyone liked so, I wore that happiness mask. Yeah! Once even I wore a mask. My mask was always there to hide, who I was on the inside from others. I could never really express sadness...

Relationships are of all types. We have blood relatives; we have in-laws, friends, neighbors, and so on. But then some special relationships that are just meant to be, and in my life, it was a beautiful lost and found case. These people walk into our lives, to steer them in a new direction, making them more joyful and adventurous giving a new course and meaning to our concrete world. We are not blood relatives, but our fate brings us together. Such a beautiful loss and found a case I have with my brother. Before I met him; I had no idea or a single clue that we would be so intertwined in each other’s lives. He is my lost and found sibling from another set of parents. I don’t have a real brother, but I always wished for one. And the best part is fate brought me close to a boy, upon seeing whom, I thought if I ever had a brother he would be exactly like him. As time passed our bond grew stronger. Though we don’t have some great brother-sister story yes we do have plenty of moments in our...